Selective mutism (SM) is an anxiety-based disorder that affects a child's ability to speak to specific people in specific environments, despite being able to talk freely in situations where they feel more comfortable, such as at home with their family.

For some children, non-verbal communication can help them get their message across. For example, they may:

• nod
• point
• use their fingers to indicate numbers or choices.

For other children, anxiety may cause them to feel completely frozen and unable to communicate in these ways.

SM is not a choice

It is important to remember that a young person does not choose to remain silent.

Their anxiety prevents them from being able to speak, even when they desperately want to.

It is not personal.

They need support to help build confidence and trust.

How can I help?

• do not put pressure on the young person to talk
• take time to get to know them without any expectation that they will speak
• engage in activities on a one-to-one basis or in small groups and provide different ways for them to take part without needing to talk
• comment on activities rather than ask direct questions, as this reduces the expectation of a response
• accept any form of communication they are able to use, such as pointing, nodding, gestures or speaking through a friend
• provide alternative ways to communicate wherever possible, such as pen and paper if they feel comfortable responding in writing
• respond naturally to any form of communication, as if they had spoken
• if they do speak, do not make a big issue of it. Respond naturally and celebrate their success later in private
• do not draw attention to the young person. Give them opportunities to participate, but avoid putting them on the spot or drawing attention to achievements in front of others
• remember that even positive attention can increase anxiety
• young people with SM may need permission to do things that others take for granted, such as leaving a room, going to the toilet or collecting equipment. Remind them that it is okay to do these things
• make sure the young person has a way to access the toilet and first aid if they need to. It may be helpful to agree a plan with the young person and their parents or carers
• partner the young person with familiar peers to help build confidence and encourage them to show others how to do things when appropriate.